aging · AS · Class · Community · Criminal Organizations · Economic Anger · ethnography · Health and wellness · Paralegal Studies · research · Sociology


On Thursday, my neighbor of 50 years said to me, “Fuck your mother.” Unfortunately, I wished him the same. However, I think his remark was out of bounds as I only asked him to move his car forward a little bit to make it easier for me to get out of my driveway. We had a screaming fest, heavily laden with expletives, as I mainly parroted back what was shouted at me, as it is not customary for me to be playing the dozens and yelling in the street like a fishmonger’s wife.

So, I’m taking his mother to Small Claims Court to get my $7500. I think I have a great torts case. Got some negligence involved, intentional injury, PTSD, and possible punitive damages. Most important, I have years of supporting documentation. Preliminary research begun. . ..

Class · Community · observations · Sociology

Todos los Dias

Every morning, no matter how I try to avoid it, I am forced to listen to the crazy woman across the street rant, rave, and rail at her children. I believe she is mentally ill. She has referred to herself as a time-bomb, ready to explode. I guess these morning outbursts are the prelude to the major eruption. Is this the new motherhood?

This household is thug central. Too many have died prematurely from this house. Too many from this house have made jail and prison their constant domiciles. Thieves, murderers, drug dealers, gun runners, abusers. These are the fruits of this household’s family tree.

After listening to the morning harangue, which lasts from 30 to 45 minutes, I’m in a mood most foul, and I wonder how the children feel. The past two weeks, for example, I have never heard SB, say good morning, I love you, have a good day. I’ve never heard her ask do you have everything you need, is your homework in your backpack, do you need lunch money? Instead, I hear her screaming about how much work she has done cleaning the house, how the utilities are all still on even though she doesn’t have a job. Oh, I do recall her telling her daughter that she had love for her, but that she didn’t like her at all and wanted her to move out though the daughter is only 15.

Now, I think I must be quite odd because no one seems to be disturbed by the madness except for me. Perhaps no one else hears what I do. Acoustics are such that if SB has her front door open when mine is also open, all of her noise comes into my home. If I close my front door, and stifle in the heat, I can still hear her through my bedroom window that is all the way at the rear of the house. Her voice is always filled with angst, rage, and screeching. There is no escape.

So, I listen and wonder why I have been chosen to witness this new behavior that really isn’t new any more. This new way of parenting has been a staple of lower-class life for a couple of decades now. Fewer and fewer of these families exist in the community because they have been forced out by losing property that belonged to their parents, or they’ve died out. But the few that are left more than make up for the loss of the others.

Keeping a cheerful spirit is difficult when in the midst of the maelstrom. I don’t judge. But I am negatively affected by all I’ve observed coming from that house. If ever I get enough money together, I’m outta here. Thirteen years of observing bad luck and worse behavior is enough.

Fiction · metaphysics · observations · Religion · Sociology

Thoughts of The One

If the One had an eye, I can nearly imagine what it must be like, because of photography and graphic effects, to zoom, from the unknown firmaments that surround us, onto my doings on this earth. A macro-microscopic zoom. Of course, the One, if possessed of a brain or mind such as I am familiar with or can fathom, would need only to think, “Be,” and whatever thought of would come into BEing.

Whatever could make the One, the Creator of All That Is, directly or indirectly, interested in my doings? The time needed to focus on my shenanigans is unimaginable as the One is timeless and can Do or Not Do, as it wills, if It were possessed of a will as I can conceive of one.

Personallly, I do believe the One is not amused, if indeed the One possesses a sense of humor as I know it. My own sense of humor is pretty whack, but the One and I would likely agree that what passes for reality, the quality of interpersonal and international relations on this earth is troubling, not at all funny. Perhaps this is why horrors persist; the One has left us on our own, abandoned us, and we’re acting out our heartbreak and frustration at this eventuality.

For all the professions of faith, many folks act as if it is the case that the One has abandoned them, left them alone like the devil never did.

AS · Community · Health and wellness · News and politics · observations · Sociology

Elliot Rodger and AS

Elliot Rodger, the young man who shot and killed several people in Isla Vista CA was reported by the news media to have had Asperger’s syndrome (AS). AS is then linked to mental illness because of the irrational acts of Rodger. This is a misapplied link because AS is not a mental illness. It is a neurological difference that affects behavior at different levels of severity. It is not a mental illness, but can be a comorbidity.

While only briefly looking at Rodger’s video, and noting that I am not a psychologist or other specialist in mental illness, he appeared to be suffering from narcissism, paranoia, and severe delusions of grandeur. He also appeared to have abandonment issues. His high degree of intelligence and verbal ability were the only indicators of possible AS observed.

If I didn’t have a moderate amount of knowledge and experience with AS, I might be led to believe that AS caused this latest shooting rampage. I would have been led to this conclusion by the irresponsible, partial reporting of the news media. This is a problem.

Health and wellness · observations · Sociology

Testing Doctor’s Instructions

The psychiatrist I was referred to by my primary care physician’s assistant told me that all I needed do was say I was an Aspie and that would be sufficient to access services and benefits protected by the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act). That isn’t true, and I knew it wasn’t true when she said it. The problem for me became why is this woman, who appears to be descended from the Indians from the subcontinent, telling me lies to my face? Does she really think I’m this stupid while she tells me how smart I am in that smarmy, condescending tone other Indians have affected with me. I try very hard to not give in to my prejudices, but I admit to having problems with Indians. At first, it was only with the males, but as I meet more and more women with superior attitudes, I’ve become wary of them, too. Dr. V. Malholtra is to blame. He would regularly compare students from my commuter college negatively with his USC students. Such a schmuck. Then, a four-month sabbatical on the subcontinent heightened my sense of distaste for many of those people. Full disclosure, you know.

Anyway, I visited the Department of Rehabilitation and told them I had AS. Of course, and as I expected, they requested proof. I told them I had none, have been trying to get a diagnosis since 2009, and that I have an appointment to request a second opinion coming up soon. I’ve also put in a call to the Disability Rights group for advocacy assistance. SOS all over the place.

I wouldn’t do this if certain things weren’t going terribly wrong in my life, things I seem unable to manage. I admit I’m not drooling and rubbing feces in my hair, but I am having difficulties that require intervention. Thought the Affordable Care Act was supposed to address these issues.

What I observe is that everyone is supposed to fit a predefined criteria. Individuals are not seen as individuals, but as interchangeable cogs in the healthcare machine. If you don’t have Cadillac insurance, you’re screwed. And it seems that even Cadillac insurance is no safeguard against being treated like a cog. Maybe a little more comfortable, but still not adequately taken care of.

AS · Community · Economic Anger · Health and wellness · News and politics · observations · Sociology

No Faith in Healthcare Insurance

Every day of last week, I called my health care insurer for assistance and information about obtaining a diagnosis for, what I suspect is, Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD; Difference; wow.cad.go/nodded/autism/ Every time I call, I receive different information. Little by little, I suspect I am getting information on how the system works by accretion, but this is a frustratingly impossible way of getting the assistance I need.

I’m not sure why I’m having so much difficulty obtaining a diagnosis. I don’t know if it is because of my age (59), my economic status (broker than the 10 Commandments), or because I am depending on medicaid (, medical service provider to the financially disadvantaged and disabled. I do know that I have learned an awful lot of how this health care-for-all system is underserving me.

The first time I contacted my health care provider I was told that the County handled all matters dealing with Autism. This is partially true. If you are under the age of 18, you may qualify for services, including assessment and treatment, at one of the Regional Centers in the County. If you are over the are over the age of 18, you must provide evidence of the existence, prior to the age of 18, of a disabling condition, else you will not be served. In fact, you will be spoken to most rudely by the gatekeepers who will not provide any information that might help you on your way.

The next time I contacted my health care provider I was told that matters of Autism were handled through my insurance company’s Mental Health Network. I called them and was provided with the names and phone numbers of 3 providers that I was to call directly and make an appointment to see someone who could supposedly help me. Well, I haven’t received one response from any of the providers I contacted. Wonder what that means?

I have found it very difficult to concentrate and read anything for extended periods of time. I was diagnosed with PTSD ( and saw a counselor through my primary care provider (PCP) for over a year. The health care provider sent a packet of information, including a Member Handbook. I started reading the Handbook and discovered there was an option to get a second opinion if unhappy with a diagnosis provided by the PCP or the Specialist. My primary care physician’s assistant sent me to a psychiatrist who told me (1) that it was not possible to diagnose me because ASD and PTSD symptoms tracked too closely to be separable; (2) that there was no definitive way to diagnose ASD as it is a subjective diagnosis; (3) that her sole function was to dispense drugs; (4) that I was a smart woman who could simply say I had ASD and then google information to treat myself. Imagine my surprise at learning psychiatrists had become nothing more than shills for Big Pharma and that I could just say I had an ASD and that would be good enough to satisfy my need for access to and the support of the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA;

I called the health care provider to ask about the second opinion option AND to file a complaint against the psychiatrist who, I felt, wasn’t taking me seriously. I really didn’t appreciate her condescension. The only successful part of this call was that I was able to file the complaint. The other information I was given to put me in touch with another provider came to nought.

The psychiatrist referred me to a clinical social worker for further counseling for the PTSD symptoms. After seeing this clinician a couple of times, she subtly began to discourage me from seeking counseling. She said the clinic was not equipped to dispense long-term care. This was news to me as I had been seeing a therapist in this very same clinic for a year before the healthcare law came into effect. Also, according the the healthcare network, my benefits included unlimited mental health visits. Somewhere there is a disconnection between the network and those providing services.

I was never in favor of this mandatory insurance. Don’t think financially disadvantaged people are getting services for free, either. I received a letter from the State of California that said once I died, they’d come after my “estate” for the cost of all services provided to me after the age of 55. That message was a better deterrent for me continuing to seek care than all the subtle hints given by the therapist or psychiatrist-shill. I haven’t always been financially disadvantaged and I would like to leave something to my offspring when I kick off, but I will limit my use of this “insurance” that fails to meet my needs no matter how many times I call on them for help.

Sexualities · Sociology

Silly Rabbit and Other Troubled Gender Relations

Vi Stiviano’s interview with Barbara Walters spoke more about the problematic gender relations existing among the Sterlings and herself than I ever could. Less said about that matter the better.

Then, there is the troubling matter of Boko Haram stealing girls in the name of Allah and doing who knows what with them. Why such a long wait to do anything about these murderous fanatics? Why did the Nigerian government do nothing until now to stop the kidnapping of girls and young women? Even the woman prime minister made excuses instead of expressing outrage and disgust at the lack of action.

PBS Newshour has been discussing how we rear our children in this technologized era. Young girls are being hawked to be princesses and their parents are buying into it, thinking it healthy to indulge fantasies of becoming an anachronism.

Wurra, wurra, wurra.