observations · racism · social observation · trauma · white nationalism · white supremacy

Notes to Myself in the New Year

I should write something. The month is nearly over.

I feel propagandized. Not relieved. Not empowered. Not convinced. Just chattered at.

Still hearing the name of the idiot. Still seeing pictures of him and his…wife. Is it wrong that every time I saw her I thought First Whore? The oldest profession really pays. Wonder who named it the oldest profession?

George Washington Carver was a crochet genius. I knew he painted, but he could make lace, do Irish crochet, make collars and cuffs, all without pattern or the ability to read. He picked up handicrafts, fancy work, before the age of 11. His works are on display at his museum in Neosho MO.

So many COVID variants. People just spreadin’ that virus around, helping it mutate, thinking it is their right to be foolish in a pandemic and take no precautions. People viewing us from without often say we only think of ourselves, never of people outside of this country. They underestimate our narcissism. We only think of our individual selves or of our tribe or clan. Our orbits of concern are mainly foreshortened.

Pearl S. Buck. So glad I started reading her work and very glad she was such a prolific observer and writer.

Never again read Jude the Obscure unless you love tedium.

New year. Feels a lot like the old one with a little less tension. Gotta worry, though, about whether or not a neighbor can be trusted. January 6 was a demonstration. You can’t expect to trust your colleagues, neighbors, the average Jane or Joe on the street. Gotta be color conscious. I really expected better of us in 1965. So much for expectations.

Biden is the second Catholic president. Let that not be an omen.

5 thoughts on “Notes to Myself in the New Year

  1. You mentioned the museum to visit and Pearl Buck. Thanks. I’d forgotten Buck until reading her name and then remembering The Good Earth long ago as a book from my great-aunt’s bookcase. Take heart and perhaps it’s right to beware your neighbors except if I would hope if I was your neighbor. I note that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez shared her fear of death from a mob and the fear that still lingers against inciters hat disown their responsibility and sit beside her. I’m disheartened. I try to keep from negative thoughts about other women but I have contempt for this First Lady who made bullies her project when she was married to one and talked about kindness when she gave none. This pair are complimentary to each other. May they never be seen again. Now I read as one Pennsylvanian idiot of Trumpism and Q-Anon gullibility after another is arrested. Are we breeding stupidity and hatred I wonder as I drive on a country road reading signs like “I Can’t Breath With A Mask” and want to pencil in while I’m on some guy’s trail cam, “Can You Breath If You’re Dead”. Mask rights became a thing in 2020 carrying into 2021. Idiocy continues.

    1. The media acts as if we should all be over what I consider to be trauma endured for 5 years. You’re correct; the idiocy continues. Appalled and mesmerized by the intensity of it.

      I think Buck is helping me heal. I started reading her after I realized I didn’t know enough about the Chinese people. Old civilization, like that of the Indians of the subcontinent. R Kelly got me through India for all his pedophilia (he told the people he was the Pied Piper, but I guess few read the story and many were seduced by money). Buck is getting me through Trump’s America.

      Fear is driving this backlash. Fear of displacement in that created binary hierarchy of inferior-superior. I detest hierarchy and dualisms. Very limiting. If you can’t be on the top, automatically you’re on the bottom. Can’t lord anything over a blinkin’ soul.

      I hope we get to be neighbors.

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