aging · AS · Criminal Organizations · Law · observations · social observation

There Are Not Enough Words

So, let’s get cracking.

I have had a heluva day: computer problems (CRS Admin password hijack), installation of a gas line (gouging), trying to get medical care for my son, renting a car, preparing to move back to my home. Just a lot going on and I am as tired as if I went to a 9-5.

Then, there is all this madness with the government. The treasonous trollops in the White House are driving me mad. That ugly turtle and his thieving wife, stupid Orange Thug and his roguish family, everyone except Barron, for whom I feel very sad. How is it that the entire GOP and DEMs, too, have been allowed to try and burn down our country? I cannot be the only one who knows the country is run by crooks and liars, mostly liars. Sarah Sanders needs boiled.

The chickens coming home to roost for all these groping, raping marauders. I don’t feel sorry for any of them. All these complicit women who said nothing when they knew there was a threat. All the women, and men, who have held memories of sexual abuse for decades; this is a cathartic moment. I really don’t expect to see much come of any of it. Just like all the gun violence. If a school full of dead children doesn’t move people, the complaints of sexual misconduct by a bunch of women will move those in power even less.

And now, I must find another attorney when I have absolutely no faith in them. I have to file a civil suit against my attorney to try and get back the money he stole from me. No trust, no money. Guess I will do it myself. I successfully brought my probate to a close. Time to learn a new legal skill.

Certainly, I must be grateful for what the ancestors place in front of me to learn and do. There must be a reason I am having all of this experience with the law. Would really rather not, but I seem to have no choice. The requirement to defend what is mine is paramount.

The country has gone crazy, right along with orangina. No ethics. No morality. Racism. Classism. Christianist terrorists emboldened and supported by the current administration. The atmosphere in American culture is toxic as hell. I don’t want to live here any more, but where can I go?

Homelessness has plagued me. All around me, even here at the beach, are the homeless. People live in their RVs, cars, vans. Tents appear in the oddest places. People have become very creative with tarps, cinder blocks, and odd wood. They can wrangle this stuff into fairly sturdy habitations. But they are still outside, without facilities, without running water, without refrigeration, without a roof or floor other than the earth. I like sleeping rough when on a camping trip, or just hanging in my back yard. But it is my back yard and I can get up and go in the house whenever I want. Alhamdulillah!

You know, I think of myself as a Jewish Methodist Muslim. Imagine that! Even though I look like your run of the mill Black woman, I actually have Japanese, Chinese, and European running around in my genome. Funny how blood will out. I have always been fascinated with Japan, to the point that I learned to read, write, and speak Nihongo. I feel like I belong there, am connected there. Mayhap I will find my roots there. I want to go and study textile techniques. Sashiko, amigurumi, that lovely delicate knitting. Yes, that is where I could go. Amongst the Euro part of me, I’ve always felt like an Irish woman. Redheaded, flawless porcelain complexion, lilting voice. Yes, I’ve imagined myself in this ancestor from ’round the world.

Now, I’m Jewish because my mother was. Methodist because I chose to study that religion thatĀ  Xtian religion that encourages study, and a Muslim because I reverted to Islam in 1997 after surviving a trip to India. I take what I need from all these perspectives and don’t sweat the small stuff. It helps that I don’t participateĀ  in organized religion, but there is nothing like praying with my sisters, lined up together, hearing the prayer in Arabic, the khutba, the conviviality after. Islam is good for those willing to seek knowledge, even to the ends of the earth.

So much swirling. Too much to do. Too much to think about. Didja know I served in the Army? Yeah, I’m a veteran. So many of us are on the streets. So many Americans on the street. This is a worldwide problem. Refugees, migrants, climate-displaced folks. There is too much going on and there are not enough words to tell you of the turmoil that churns within me, especially when I see our so-called president’s face. Him and his whole administration need removed.

Peace, peeps.

 

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